SOLANA CRASHED
PORTFOLIO GONE
NOW HIRING
ERGOPHOBIA
MARKET STATUS: CATASTROPHIC
FEAR OF
WORKING
I'D RATHER HOLD BAGS THAN FILL APPLICATIONS.
LINKEDIN STATUS: TERRIFIED.
RESUME GAP: 2021-2025 (CRYPTO).
SKILLS: DIAMOND HANDS, PANIC SELLING.
APPLICATION STATUS: PENDING (FOREVER)
THE DEGEN PATH
THE APE
Quit job. Full-time degen.
THE DIP
It's just a correction. Trust the process.
THE CRASH
Portfolio -99%. This is fine.
ERGOPHOBIA
Must apply for j*bs. The horror.
THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH
WE LOST EVERYTHING.
NOW WE FEAR THE 9-5.
They said crypto was the future. They said we'd never work again. Now we're all suffering from ergophobia - the irrational fear of returning to employment.
THE AFFLICTED
Testimonials from those with severe ergophobia
“My therapist diagnosed me with ergophobia. I told her I can't afford therapy anymore.”
- Ex-Whale
“Resume gap explanation: I was my own boss (at losing money).”
- Former CEO of Nothing
“The scariest part of the crash? Updating my LinkedIn.”
- Diamond Hands Dave
“I went from 'we're all gonna make it' to 'we're all gonna work at it'.”
- Degen in Recovery
* Real degens. Real fear. Real applications pending.
DISCLAIMER